The things i don understand.....huh?

First of all i juz wan 2 say sry bcoz wat im going 2 write is som so call negative though of mine, so b prepare.

Recently i felt myself quite useless again(although i always thought so myself). i always seem doesnt hav mood or juz unable 2 finish the assign 2 me 2 b completed. For example, when im in primary school, i always hated the malay subject. so i juz purposely didnt study at all about de subject. the consequence is me suffer a lot during the secondary school stage bcoz my malay juz sucks....ok now talk about recently, i hav assign a duty of planning an activities. so guess wat happen i think i wil screw it again badly. i hav no idea how 2 do and juz hope god will help me in the end. som time me juz lazy n shy 2 ask ppl question, that why i always end up with such stupid situation.

Number 2, also juz recently. my grandfather juz injured his left hand. in this incident i realise 1 thing, take care ur parent is everyone sons n daughters responsibility or juz u nid 1 son or daughter n that juz enough. for ur information my grandparent hav 7 sons n daughters. it should not b a problem of take caring my grandparent who are r sick. but the real situation is this responbility is juz onli taken by my father n also my mother. wat i wan 2 emphasize here is can u imagine, my mother started 2 hav nerve related disease which wil let a person fell weak until even cant raise her handn don mention walking. is juz totally heartbreak when i saw my mother sickness getting worse 3 yrs ago when my mother when she hav 2 stay at the wad room in hospital 2 times in a month. the worse is my mother still hav 2 take care of my grandparent although she is sick.

I juz don noe wat is going on here, i noe for a son or daughter to take care their parent is good. some how i think tat if all of my uncles or unties all together take care my grand parent, the ssituation could b must better. it juz seem unfair, everyday onli my father hav 2 help my grandmother inject the diabetic vaccine. N my parent always caught themselves in som situation when taking care of my grandparents.

Somtimes the world is like that, som1 must clean up the mess that others made....haiz

last wish, i hope i can b a more optimistic person than im now and the most important is to wish my parents to b healthy so they can take care my grandparent. if not i don noe wat will happens...who noes.

Mom and dad i will no abandon u 2 in the future no matter how difficult my life will be....