Saturday, February 19, 2011

OLD???

Recently i found out that i felt tired easily. Is juz like frm the minute i wake up, i started to felt the tiredness inside me. Felt so tire and meaningless, waking up everyday in the morning, knowing that u cant get things straight. I seem to b having lot of unfinish business everyday, well when i thought i finish the crap for good, another pops up juz 2 giv u a 'surprise'. Juz dono how, i somehow end up like living my life is to covering up those craps that was originated frm me la (so i cant blame others also, juz i did bad i noe, but i juz cant chg it better). I wish im a more well organize person that wat im now. I hate others covering up my butt when especially the shit is coz by ME!!!!

Juz felt disappointed 2 myself. 1st time felt so nia, im usually a happy go lucky guy.......haiz. Felt disappointed of the determination and promise i made when i ac
cept the task. I will felt very
disappointed when i failed 2 do somthing i determined to accomplish. Im in such a dilemma until i cant even finish up any of my tasks.......FML. Perhaps, for person like me, only suitable for some simple things, simple life.......like the if the sky collapses is non of my business. Perhaps, is juz i hav too high expectation on it. Guess i shld stick 2 my principle again that is 'u wont get disappointed when u don hav the expectation at the 1st place'.

Sometimes it juz not feeling so good that when som1 doing the same thing but in a way that is way better than u. Trust me the feeling, SUCKZZz. Sometime i was thking, y they can do it that good and y cant we do it that good also? I tend to lose my will when i saw others are lazy. But no excuse la, i really din did my part juz quite enough.......shame on me. I noe my own weakness, i got some serious personal problem......and now is starting 2 affect m
y studies and the task i was given. The situation now is, i either choose 1 out of 2, or i juz did badly when choose 2 2gether,
juz like last sem.......i cant even get a 3 of my gpa.........haiz

Guess im too old huh? too old for this kind of serious thking.......apart of me telling me to give up, another part of me telling me to continue and struggle, u will make it eventually. Which 1 shld i listen? Option A or option B. Or there is an Option C for me? Im having a headache on me rite now, others keep telling me to do tis and that, and i noe thats wat shld i do. But if i cant solve tis shit out, i will end up like last sem, and i don wan it to happen. Its really struggle, i will still attend the nite's activity whenever ther is exam on 2mrw morni
ng o not? Others committee member will juz absent and said they wan 2 study got test 2mrw. So can i juz learn frm them also? The truth is i did badly on test tis morning, Again!!!!

Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma...........................can i juz run away frm all tis?

Guess all i hav 2 do now is doing the........

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