Penang trip

Its been abt a year since im having a trip. Tis trip actually happen quite fast and without any proper planning. On 1 day my penang friend ask me 'jom go penang play la, u can live in my house'. Then without any thinking i answer him 'yes'. Coz penang is a place i wanted to visit for a long time since i last visited it during my primary school days.

So, we r taking bus to reach penang, the ride is abt 8hours. Trust me is not a pleasant feeling to travel that long on a bus. When i reach there, i met my friend's parents, surprisingly their parents is very friendly. That day i juz spend my day on fb and sleep early bcoz its juz too tired. 

the next day, we went to a island called 'Jerejak island', it is a island between the penang mainland and penang island. Tis is the view of the island taken from the boat, the colour part is the app's effect.

then tis is me........ 

the view of queensbay mall also taken frm the boat.........

d 'sun'.......

surprisingly the sea has many jellyfish........i only manage to shoot 1 in my photo nia......

tis is the weird kancil with no doors at all........and those sitting on it is my fren's fren......haha

1st activity, wall climbing and rapelling.......

tis is the photo i climb the wall.......its actually harder than it looks, anyway i manage to make it on the top. hehe

the proof that i make it to the top..........

                                               

my fren's fren........

my fren, my fren's fren and me.......lol

after walking frm altera to queensbay mall, we went bak to penang island and visited a taiwanese food shop called 'black ball', trust me it taste good.......

now, tis is the second day. i went to visit some of the heritage of penang. tis is the place of somthing like nyonya baba la.......is basically chinese and in the same time it mix with others culture

tis is wat i called the 'heavy weight championship belt', uz kidding. its actually a real belt at those time........

an antic radio

antic television.......

i dono wat tis kind of painting was called in english but i like it........

then we go to kek lok si........1 thing really surprise me there, on the way going up, there shld b a lot of stall open ther but dono y there was no stall open at all at that day......juz a few shirts shop were open only. Mayb they noe im coming........haha

a view of the kek lok si temple........

now.......food picture time......i din manage to take all the food i ate at there, bcoz somtimes im juz too hungry......here is a the photo of charkuew tiao.......is very nice but according to my fren si 'no standard' coz no banana leaf.....haha, the standard is banana leaf, ham, prawn and tauge.

next time dim sum, i taste nice but acording to my fren some ipoh fellow say is not as good as ipoh dimsum. but who cares it still nice......

now asam laksa, 1st time tasting it, the taste is quite special and i like it......

erm.,.....tis 1 is tau fu fa, is quite smooth la but taste ok ok nia.......

ikan bakar...........it taste good

'woon zai ci' shark fin sell at pasar malam

this is kari mee and we usually called it laksa.......in penang, kari mee usually comes with 'pig blood' and it mixed quite well with it.

So, overall im having a good time there in penang. i ply and eat alot, i even watch 3 movies there.........although there is places i din manage to visit like bukit bendera but i satisfy with it. Lastly, i had thx my fren to let me stay in his house and bring me around in penang. Really thank God to let me had a fren like tat........

Hopefully, i can had a trip again but no nid to wait so long time la. going for a trip really can make a person to relax and enjoy urself once in awhile...........

what kind of life is tis......

everyday go lab in the morning, after coming bak do coding.......the process keeps going on and on, really dono how lo......it makes me more like a nerd that im previously. thank God that my project is finally making some progress but there is still a long way to go b4 i complete the whole thing.

So, God bless and wish everyone doing well in their fyp......all da best guys.......

吓倒鼻子洞都没肉。。。

昨天晚上和家人一起去了教会。 在聚会有人唱歌的时候，妈妈跟我说荧幕上歌词是三行吗？我说不是，两行。然后她又说，我看到三行，那时候我知道惨了。不知道她又有什么病料。。。明明是两行字，她看到三行。当时，真的‘吓倒我鼻子洞都没肉’。不过还好，最后还是给我找到问题的根源，原来是她忘记吃药。。。。。haiz，吓餐死。。。。。

‘阿妈，下次表酱了，会吓死人的。。。。’

the start of an finale

last semester huh? many ppl(mainly ex-uni stdents) told me that u will miss ur uni life. but wat i think is the opposite. i c everyone in their uni will had some urge to go back bcoz in their respective uni will definitely experiences some degree of hapiness. as for me is kinda different, im definitely not happy abt the uni life i had, certainly felt not happy at all and i wont had the urge to go bak, not a bit, no chance.....

Guess tis is the last sem liao, had to work my ass out to finish my fyp for sake of able to graduate. i went bak uni early to start my fyp earlier but seems like 'langsung takda jadi la'. my progress is still 0% and i felt want to cry liao. everyday go to lab, even now the technician noe who we r.......fml. hope that i can handle my studies well tis semester, my fyp and also my serving in cf well la. im crossing my fingers for that.....haha.

Seems is the last semester, im kinda stuck on a question. 'What's ur plan after tis , Mr Ooi?'. for the record, i din think much of it actually, mayb find a job? find a mate perhaps? or juz do nthg staying at home 'ukur lantai'( the chance of tis happen will be when the sky suddenly drop a huge amount of money for me lo). but wat i noe is i had to start think abt provide some financial to the house and my parents. f.y.i, they are officially a retiree since last year. i din even dare to ask money frm them accept last time birthday my mum giv me some money.

so tis is life huh? u will keep moving frm another state to another no matter u want it or not. juz hope everything goes well in the future and hope i wont stop in the past myself and move forward........

i saw a quote which i think is very meaning and inspiring, 'Wake up everyday stronger than yesterday, face your fears and wipe your tears'. is nthg wrong to have fears or tears, it doesnt mean that u r weak, all u had to do is to face it and be tougher. add oil lo Mr. Ooi, u can de.....juz had some faith on wat u do........go kick some pity asses when the new sem starts........

stroger, tougher, smarter.......

happy time does goes a little too fast huh? at a blink of an eye and is over. seems like everything goes so fast, i finished 3 and a half year of study at uthm, i finished my psm1, cny will be over soon, im going bak uthm aka 'shit hole' thats wat i use to called it and most probably i will be graduating after 5 more months.

tis cny is kinda dull and boring but no regret, im still able to gather with my frens in seremban. go fren's house gamble-gamble, minum-minum, movie and yamcha kinda sums up my cny days. the most important is to stay at home, had some quality time with my mum.......but sadly tis year's ang pao really shrink frm low to extremely low. i din even get a total of rm100, fml. guess i need to use my money more wiser frm now on huh, i still have 2 weeks to survive b4 my ptptn came in.

for tis cny, things r abit different, some frens started to have found other half, some get married, some started working and of course some bz with their fyp like me. after c-ing them, i felt like im the 1 who is standing at the same place and had not move on........is hard to explain the feeling i had. is like ppl around is keep on progressing 'something' and u still standing ther looking like a stupid......that which in my opinion is disastrous. guess i nid 2 find 'something' for me to progress.

speaking of going bak 2 uthm, fyp is a hell of headaches, i still havnt discover or figure out how to write the programme for the PIC or visual basic part. really God bless me lo.......haha. so basically is juz nid 2 be stonger, tougher and smarter to solve it, juz tat simple. if i found the solution everyting is easy like 'makan kacang'........juz 'if' la

anyway, wish me luck for my fyp and wish those who r working, not working, struggling with their fyp or doing nthg a good year ahead and hope everything goes to ur way......

the dilemma of no money...

haha, 2day i accompany my mum go jusco buy her new clothes and sambil c i can found mine's also. i definitely saw some nice clothes but hor, the price tag is quite jialat lo......haha. guess u have to have some points of financial ability to look good huh? like wat i expected, my wallet now left 1 hundred somthing and my bank account left not more that 1 hundred ringgit inside it.

wat i can do is juz making the fake smile to my parents and always say i got enough money to use lo......so i ending up buying nthg coz i don think spending the money now is a wise decision, f.y.i i had to go bak early for my holiday due to some unfinish fyp's business.by that time ptptn is not in yet and i definitely nid some money to survive. then, after noticing me din buy any clothes for cny, my dad start talking craps, he told me that i could wear his shirts if i wanted to........and he assure i will look good on it. haha, juz i thought my taste r bad enough, juz until u c my dad's outfit......haha. or mayb im wrong those clothes at that time is really 'in', who noes.....guess my life really cant separate with money, especially tis few months....

1 thing of going bak home is relaxation and satisfaction. relaxation means u wont have to think craps u face at uni and satisfaction i refer to is my stomach satisfaction......i had finished a can of 'nga gu' and i will gambateh of finish another 1 2mrw.......haha. definitely will gain some weight during tis cny......

so, hopefully tis cny could b yet another memorable memory.......juz felt like good time get lesser and lesser day by day.......i can definitely feeling it.........so happy chinese new year and gong xi fai cai everyone.........wish everyone huat ar!!!!

talent

hah! talent, i believe is a kind of 'thing' that everyone has it but no all ppl can discover it or rather use it well. i been trying my whole life to try out many things and i seem like failing to find it though. talent is a kind of thing where a person can easily conduct or getting a job done without learning or appropriate training at the 1st place. for example, some ppl are good at memories things, they can juz memories things with juz a snap. i once heard a person sharing that he was joining the war game competition fr the 1st time, and his team won the championship, other professional even invited him to join the international competition coz they think the guy is a natural born sharp shooter.

So, i thinks a person's talent could b wide and also could b narrow means that people could have a lot of talent or mayb a person have that only talent but he can maximized it to a level where others cant reaches.

although i havnt found wat is my 'talent' is juz yet, but im certainly narrowing down my list and hopefully 1 day i could discover it, haha. damn, wish i could discover wat im good at, and probably my life wont be that miserable.....haha.

happy chinese new year and happy holiday for those who finished their papers.........

pre-chinese new year

haha......is chinese new year soon........cant wait for the holiday. 2 more weeks......yahoo!!! there is so much on my 'to do list', i wan to dye my hair, buy some new clothes or sneakers, go for a movie, sing k, and more and more. But sadly for those high level spending like dying my hair and buying clothes is out of my range that i could afford, coz i officially broke........haha, congratulation. nvr in my life i think i will broke living in uthm (universiti tenggelam habis malaysia), guess im sinking with it huh?

and the question arise, why dont i go had a part time job? 1st, i don have the time, after my final is cny and after cny i had to go bak to do my fyp. 2nd, if my parents finds out im working outside, they will sure noe im lack of money, and for sure they will find a way to give me money whether i agrees or not. FYI, my parents r not working. i don feel like to ask money frm my parents since my father retired, im fully depend on my ptptn. right b4 the sem starts, i do some simple calculation, i shld b able to gone through tis sem with the money i had left but sadly shits juz come and i end up using more money that i expected........(dono la, now i rather go eat alone also don wan to go eat with that guy who make my life miserable). i dono since i become a person like tat, felt like i started to wonder whether i really noe myself well enough. perhaps im tire of every morning wakes up thinking where to eat and how to spend in order to use less than rm10 ringgit perday........trust me is kinda fuck up.......right im actually eating 1 or 2 meal per day......not more than 2........if got exam mayb 3, im now banning all those high spending restaurant like McD and kfc.

im having my thrifty life for almost a month dy........got ppl invite me go movie i rejected them, ppl jio me go McD i say no, ppl call me go ther, do that......if involves money, i will definitely reject them. seems like God help me when 2day i go try chg my bus ticket's date.....the aunty say knot.....then i wont b spending money at kl........but kinda sad coz cant met wit old frens.......all can hope for is next year lo.

i juz realize recently i update my blog quite frequently........izit a good sign or a bad sign. but 1 thing for sure, im stress and i cant juz show it all on my face, it will scares ppl. all i can do is to express through words........lastly, wish everyone a early happy chinese new year.......

luck huh?

is been a busy week, but is a hapi week coz my best fren is getting married. but despite of hapiness, i also discover some facts abt myself. During the week, i had did many things that i nvr did b4 in my life. i get drunk by having alcohol more that i had in my whole life so far( i dint usually drink, my parent dont drink, only sometime my uncle will 'yam sheng' with me during cny, thats all). i get to ply snooker, believe it or not, tis is the first time i grab a snooker stick, FML. As usual i ply like a noob, even jessie can ply better than me. sometimes i really think do i had any talents that i can proud of. next, the fun part, i go clubbing leh! nvr in my life really been to a clubbing place that was filled with alot of ppl. And i juz found out that i cant dance or rather moving my body.......haha, i noe is lame.

but no regret la, countdown at pub kinda new and fresh for me. plying snooker like noob also nvm la. sucks at drinking beer also nvm la, im dont have to drink everyday also. after all those new things i try out, i kinda have a conclusion. i sucks in almost everything except sleeping. and 1 more thing that really doesnt make sense is i still had frens who r still willing to let me join them and gila2 with them. i cant find the answer y they willing to let me join them, coz i kinda sucks in everything. if they post status of asking a question b4 new year, i certainly will ask them abt it.

but anyway, for the moment i juz think it as a present or luck that God gave me...... coz for me, i dono wat my life will b without them. Im a nerd kind of person from kindergarden, primary school, secondary school and till now university. i had some minor improvement but basically is the same. there was not a single girls willing to willing to let me join them except those of my best frens.

Talk abt the topic of 'nerd'. i thinking of me, having my glasses on and open my mouth wide, sitting on the chair at the class while listening to the teacher's teaching. I kinda do that too until now when im really really blur. that scene was the me when i was in my primary school. i used to get beaten up by others, juz like wat u see in those movie (the movie is juz over reacted, mine is more moderate, haha). so, i decided that, i will do wat i want frm now on, im a born nerd, my nerdiness is apart of me.......so i will live like a nerd according to my way. bis not bad to b a nerd, the world has to had bad ppl to shows that there is noble ppl. the same goes to nerd, nerds a essential to prove that the 'cool' ppl are actually 'cool'.

its new year, all i hoping is to encounter less trouble or problem, if can had a gf coz my frens will soon getting married 1 by 1 liao......and juz like the song of bruno mars 'today my life begins', i will break tis chain that bind me, happiness will find me......hopefully........haha........hopefully~~~~~~

happy at last

i noe my title is kinda stupid. but who care anyway. last sunday i attended my good fren's wedding dinner, im very happy my fren found a nice guy and gone married. but sometimes it doesnt feel good when ur fren is getting married and u don even hav a gf before, thats kinda sucks.

ok, back to the title. as usual im attending the wedding dinner with my secondary school frens. the whole nite is all abt cam whore. although i not a person who prefers cam whore, but actually i did enjoy cam whoring with them. im enjoying the process is not bcoz i had chance to take pictre with so many leng lui but actually i realise that i laugh for that hard for so damn long since i bak to uni. is like im not really laughing for 2 or 3 months. now i baru notice im so that not happy when im in university. nthg worth laughing abt......fml

anyway, thats a great nite, i enjoy myself, i bet others enjoy themselves too. so here is a photo of us gathered that day......i crossing fingers that the bf of them don come and whack me......haha

feeling bad.....

i really dono wher to start, but anyway, is been a though week, i had 3 test, 1 fyp presentaion....although i finished my last test paper, but somehow i din felt any happier. Felt like im totally fuck up this 2 months, ther is not a day i felt happy abt it.....everyday new shits arise.....juz a summary, my phone broke, im broke due to the bastard, i get killer panel, my tayar 'puncit' in campus area, i get sick in the middle of the test week. Im not blaming anything anyway, mayb ther is ppl tht is more unfortunate that me, or mayb tis time im having a happily ever after life, perhaps this kind of problems is like 'kacang' for certain person..........mayb, mayb, mayb.....

But sometimes i will get into a state wher i c everything in a negative way. Is hard to explain......when im at that state, i tend to get pissed easily, i like to throw things around, slamming doors that i wont usually do(trust me im still doing it now)......it somehow thats another face of myself, the anger part of my self.

Life certainly is not fair. nthg is fair. ther r rich ppl and certainly thr is poor ppl to prove the existance of the rich ppl. Some r getting bad luck all his life but some can happy go lucky on his whole life. Ther is juz too many unexplainable fairness in this world and ya is kinda fuck up.......i hate it.

i dono y im typing tis anyway.....tis is wat i felt.....anyway im still fucking sick now, hope i can well soon.....haiz, life sucks.....

psm.....

After two day of sleepless nite, i finished up my psm seminar paper but sadly the whole was a mess and i still had to include many things inside it. And i juz know that my panel is a killer, my co-supervisor expression is damn weird when he heard the name of my panel.........FML.

The reason im writing blog and not doing my seminar paper now is because im kinda sick.......i cant even c the keyboard properly. The best part is that i need to submit the paper on tis friday and thats the final due date. The funniest of all is.......i basically have 3 test and a psm presentation on next week.......felt like som1 pls pinch me，am i dreaming, damn!!!! Hopefully my dizziness will felt better 2mrw and i can continue my work..........seriously need help but the person who can help me is none other than myself.

So, all i can do now is 'finger-crossed' because that the only thing i can do in the moment.........hopefully i can have some 'kicks' to complete my paper.

Peace out and may peace be with each and everyone of u.......

Updates.......

There had been alot of shits happening......like usual. It kinda makes me feels like life is juz all abt shits......

Rcently, or can i say tis few days, i been using 200 to 300 juz to settle the rental for last month and tis month.....fml. I some how get frustrated, due to unmature thinking of a diploma student living at my house. The story starts when my housemate which is a engineer suddenly gets a offer to b a lecturer at curtin university in sarawak. Of course, he 3x7=21decided to go ther, after all sarawak is his hometown ma. So, after his departure, things started to get worse on the matter of 'rental

fees'.

Then, another shit arise the surface. My another housemate's wife is getting transfer here to batu pahat. At 1st, it seems to be a good thing not until they get to noe that the place she been transfer to is far far away frm parit raja which called tongkak pecah(is kinda kampung area la). So, my housemate needed to move out since his wife is teaching so far away frm where we live now. He promise me that he will definitely, paying the rental till end of tis january means after then sem ended. (kinda relief)

Next, i really had to thank God for tis. Since they r moving out and i cant afford the rental anymore, so i had to move out after tis semester. But believe it or not, i found a house to stay after the day the decision was made. Sounds so unbelievable, at 1st i thought will be a hard time to find a house to rent since that was my last semester. Really grateful for that.

Now then, the best part. The diploma student i mention earlier, he came bak to starts his new and final semester, we told him our decision and hope he will find a house to move. But sadly that guy din even try to find, he juz say he will stay here after we move out. Due to our generosity, we felt guilt lo, then my housemate kinda found a new housemate to stay with us. The original plan is like tis, we will inform the owner of tis house that we will not b renting it after january and we planned to use up the 2 months deposit means at least we can reduce our burden of the rental fees.

And somehow tis guy i will call it '程咬金‘suddenly say he don wan to move out spoil everything. Now i basically need to pay double of the rent i usually paid......FML. If he some how move out, evey1 would b happy........i kinda lost the money i planned for cny for a new shoes, jeans or some new clothes. Now, guess i had to wear the same old shoes, same old jeans and same old clothes thx to that guy. I had a little bit of hating him now.......i dono y, i really gets emotional easily especially when im in pressure. But think frm another perspective, the guy is too young dono wat he is thinking, i probably will think the same way if i was at his age. So, basically i shld b mad but im mad........somehow, somewher,some i dono wat la

Trust me, im not having much money left. Im trying to spend less everyday starting frm 2day for the sake of not having to 'eat grass'. At least today i think i manage to use juz rm10 for eating. Thats a good start at least.

Haiz, nthg to blame la........if the shit is meant to urs, then it will come to u eventually. Believe or not, juz now im having webcam chat with my best fren, although we din chat much, but at least i felt better in the process........So, Father above, if u hear me, u noe my needs, so pls drop some money frm the sky to let me spend........haha juz kidding.

So, gd nite, and here is another negative statement i made at my blog again........

Im still the old me huh?

Always had some weird feeling when i com bak study at Parit Raja. Seems like i wont had that kind of feeling during my primary or secondary school, i wonder y? The feeling of worthless and useless keep on attacking me.......and i keep telling myself i can overcome tis coz i had gone through 3 yrs of studies at here already. I shld b strong enough to withstand all of tis.........craps or shits that happen around me.

If u all don noe me that well, well im basically a 'lazy' kind of person. I onli get serious when somthing got my attention.........but however seems like i cant withstand it somehow although the things does attracted my attention and interest. Recently, PSM is been a headache, the test 2 is very near(and i din study abit), cf is basically a 2 men show or rather 1 and half men show( the half of it is me la, i din contribute much), and my housemate brings back his wife to live at our house. And somehow it annoys me, not bcoz of his wife though.......but i cant stop thinking those stupid things i did in the past, i dono how explain it. Accumulate all those element i mention juz now, it turns out to be a big pile of shit hole......that had unlimited supply of shit.

I had the urge to juz put down everything or run away and juz mainly focus on my own studies......my studies recently drop drastically, i felt terribly sry to my parents. Guess im not the kind of person that can really withstand pressure huh? i try to take the 1st step to say that im strong enough to taken care of tis things.........seems like im lost and defeated. I fail on my studies and i fail to kept my promises i had made with God...........felt completely useless........all my darkest nightmare com haunting me at once.

God can i? i really felt tired and i dono wat to do.......the words 'giving up' keeps pops up in my mind. What shld i do? Is the determination we made does really matters? I felt really dulan liao, can i juz go home every week and be a PBSM from now on.......believe me or not, i felt i wan 2 cry dy liao.......hope i can really withstand it........

i wan solution ar !!!!!!!

The tear rush feeling

Today is the day im going bak good old 'king drain' aka Parit raja again. i going bak seremban to claim the warranty of my phone that i had only used for 3 months.......haiz.

Its been a bad week for me so far......i nearly make my motor 'puncit', i had to find a new house to live next semester, my phone broke, my co-supervisor giving me a hard task that until now i cant solve and yeah most importantly, i been having severe diarrhea for 2 days. FML.

Its seems like so much had happen in a split second, suddenly everything is rushing towards u. The tear rush feeling i mention above is today after i hoop on the bus back to PR. Before the bus starts, i starring at my mum and dad who is there starring at my bus also, waiting the bus to leave. Juz dono y, i felt like crying suddenly while starring at them. I felt so terrible that, they sacrifice almost their whole life to raise me up. And all i do was having sucks greds and cant even think of some simple coding. I felt is not rite to study far away frm them and cant b at their side. All i do s using their money onli........Recently, many of my frens had 'pull red curtain' dy, and sadly to say that i din even 'pak tou' or bring a girl home to show to my parents. Sry mum, sry dad........although my age is more than enough to go 'pak tou' but juz dono y it will end up like tis. People said, don be to obsess of a tree since ther is a big forest of tree available, but my thinking r a bit weird though. I believe that ther will b onli juz 1 tree that is suitable for me nia......juz dono when i would found it.

LAst week when to genting(thats the place i got my diarrhea frm i think), the celaka punya security guard always checks my IC everytime i enter the casino. Am i that young or my face juz look very suspicious. I wonder...........

Felt abit better after spilting out all this craps........hope 2mrw will be a better day and hopefully i can figure how to do my psm la.......God bless me and God u all too la........Every1 gd nite and sweet dream......

Senior convo......

Haha, i usually don attend senior's convo coz im lazy, juz that simple. tis year however, i changed coz 'her' is going to graduated......haha

She is the senior i most respected in cf. She had nthg special though but her consistency of her serving God in cf and church never stops although by that time, we face alot of shit. She tat kind of person that do things senyap2 de. And guess wat, im the bastard that always left the work to her when we r in cf. And yet, she doesnt sound abit nia.......she is hundred times alot stronger compare to the situation i witnessed now. She is juz way more better.

Kinda miss her though, miss the time we serve in cf together and the piano sound.......haha. She is the only pianist at cf (now of course no piano anymore, only some lame guitar plying by me). Anyway, i sincerely wishing her for a better future in her career and also wish her could faster find a bf also(very kelian d, the girls who r willing to serve, no boys wan them).......

So, good luck senior........keep serving for God.......

Short happy time

Happy time sure goes as like it's flying.......i com bak seremban on thursday and 'pops' suddenly is saturday nite dy. Means that 2mrw i will b heading bak good old 'king of drain'.

Really enjoy tis few days accommodation at my home, i used the word 'accommodation' coz its living for a few days and u nid 2 'chau' after that, so is kinda like a hotel la. Tis few days, i had ate alot of mom's cooking, her cooking is still the best. haha. Dad's gonna had a job next month, is somthing like fetching kids frm school la.....

As usual, i cant do any studies at home......i din open the books i shld study at all.....i juz basically sleep and watch tv. i had a severe flu after i got back here.....the nose is running like crazy......hate that though.

Haha, after coming bak realy felt my mum miss me alot......is bad for me to not coming bak frequently, i don hav a gf or somthing, so shld b no excuse to com bak home......haha. started to crazy again......

ok la,,,,,,enough of the dose of crap of my own.......will stop here, hope 2mrw will be a better day for everyone of us.......

the suffocate feeling.....

Dono y la, juz felt wanted to split some words here. Recently felt suffocate suddenly.......and seems like no1 can help me.

Tis few weeks, im bz with things at cf and my study.......at first i think i can handle it pretty well. but the ugly truth is that i suddenly felt like im starting to crack somehow. The feeling is not good at all, i sense the urgency of some changes made on cf but i juz cant do it. Every1 is like doing their own thing and or i can rather say, they abandone it? ther was no sense of unity at all......between all the cf committee members. Got bf go find bf, wan kao lui go kao lui, bz wit study de, and another headache 1 is he does things all by his own without our notification........juz left a brother who had a same view that something nid 2 b changes. b4 tis i said loud and clear that i will cooperate with the brother to make some changes. but now seems like, the changes havnt been made and im starting to crack. im sick of choosing my study or my religion. balancing the 2 things is the most fxxking hard thing in my life i think, at least for now. when i finish the things at cf (which practically say is a forever unfinish business), then i would had to catch up my studies.

i muz concentrate on my study because im the only son at my family. the family needs me man. i cant afford to extend 1 sem or get delayed my graduation. and in the other hands, doing God's work is also a very important task for me also, i wont c it lightly. so, ther is some controversy going on. 2day, i had a fxxk up day. morning i had a badminton session bcoz a cf's brother suddenly had a test and he cant handle it. then at noon i need to go teach a junior abt coding (1st time teach ppl leh, after 3 yrs i had been in uthm.) that i havnt been looking at it for 1 yr. So, at nite, i nid 2 go out with my lovely housemate farewell dinner la. He is going to be a lecturer at curtin university at sarawak.

Juz dono la, i think got the heart wana to serve the lord more, i tend to get tired more easily........sometimes i really wanted to had a life like others typical university students, like hang out wit boys and girls ar, ply counterstrike together ar, or go travel. without anything related to cf or churches. coz recently seems like im whole life is full of those 'things' onli. recently i seldom calls my mum coz i noe i cant bak home so frequently bcoz of cf and homework.

Next, like i said my housemate is moving out. He is the 1 who is paying the large portion of the rental most of the time coz he os working. after his departure, the rental is really gonna b a big problem. if not mistaken, i nid 2 pay abt rm200 or more per month for the rental if he is gone. tis time i really nid 2 eat grass baru boleh survive lo......

Those problems i faced might been small cases to u all, but for me, is like a hell of a problems. i had a happy go lucky attitude, but when i started to get serious, it seems like it drags me down my power drastically. is like u suddenly using a c70 motor kap to speed up until 100 somthing mph, possible? the combination of those shits, is more than i can handle. im trying hard to b more positive, but i juz cant stop the fatigue inside my mental self. an dilemma is going on, whether is shld continue like tis or juz concentrate on my study, practically i think my parents are more important to me. dono la, the bottom line is i don like choosing, especially all the option given means so damn much to me.

Some bad thoughts also sometimes, if im a more typical university student and din joined cf. will i still b single and kinda not available? haha, dono lo, better go ask God.

enough of thrash talks......gd nite everyone............

Convo fever.......

It just like a convo crazy, because when i opened up my facebook, there will certainly some convocation photos posted on it. Sometimes i will juz open it up to c either bcoz is the photo of my frens or i saw a lenglui inside the photo. haha. neither way, i felt terribly sry for all my frens who r having their convocation that i cant attend and i don have the money to buy them present either, except those who blackmail me la.

tis semester is a big of mess. everything is like pouring down on me. i nid more and more and more time to sort those things out. i still learning to arrange my time more effectively. everytime i planned a thing, must have somthing else com out to spoil it. damn. i nid 2 done my psm, i nid 2 done my assignments, i nid 2 done my serving in cf, i nid 2 do tis and i nid to do that. is like haiz.....y like tis. i cant even find a suitable time for me to go home. yails. felt sry though to my parents. my mum always tell me u no nid 2 com bak so frequent but i noe they certainly want me to com bak once in awhile. im not like living in sabah or somthing.......im going just a bus trip away nia.

really hope i can get the chance to go home more frequently and yea hope that my convocation will have ppl willing to com( im kinda scare that no1 will com for it coz i ffk many ppls convo dy.haha).

so, is time to work out. the weather is nice, im going out to jog for awhile. haha

finally some relieve.....

during the 4 months of holiday, i had done my internship at ON semiconductor but sadly i forgot to register my subject at my faculty. Sound sucks rite? is really sucks trust me......when i go check at the faculty, all those staff asking was 'y u din register? y all ur frens registered?'. For that moment i really dono how 2 answer them. luckily, ther is 1 of the staff ther which i think is quite 'helpful' la. he din scold and tell me wat shld i do to get tis situation fixed. All the thing he told is to get approve letter frm industrial visit supervisor and the industrial training committee as a proof to write a letter to our dear lovely faculty dean........sweat rite? i nvr once step in to the dean office. So i ran here, ran ther so settle up the document needed and took me quite some time to type the letter which is in malay anyway(official letter must all in malay).

but thx God that, tis morning i went to check out the letter status at the dean personal assistant office, and the deputy dean is juz reading it and juz on time i can explain the situation i faced and all those confusion i had causing me not to register the subject. And yeah, he said ok and he will call his PA to settle it for me........when i heard the word spill out frm his mouth.....i fet so damn relieve man, is like im moving frm hell to heaven.

this matter is bugging me since i coming bak to the university. and im so glad that everything was settle. phew!!!

haha.......now im relieve and sleepy so i will juz stop here la.......wish every1 have a good day ahead.......