Relieve.....temporarily......

Yes!!! finally he is gone for a few days a least.....i felt relieve and a bit awkward at the same time. But somehow i felt my mum feels more relieve than me....and that a good sign and i like it^^

Here the story, my grandma suddenly was send to the hospital coz she felt in the toilet and was bleeding (u all noe that bleeding 4 a diabetes patient hav severe consequences). Thx god her wound recover and now another problem arise. She started to hav mental problem, she started to scold ppl and even fight back when the nurse or doctor try to get the needle into her skin. So now basically she was tight with her hands and legs around the bed bcoz of her 'superb' behavior and that will make the doctor's job more easier and also others safety. But for the record, today she is fine and no more superb behavior, her legs was release but the hands still tight to the side of the bad la. Anyway, i seriously hope that she will recover soon.

Ok next, the best part. When my grandfather knew that my grandma was send to the hospital and act abit 'kisiao' in the hospital. He also felt relieve, dono y but he does look abit happy. He keep telling me and my mother that my grandma will be send to a phyco center soon or mayb less that a week. by that time, when i heard wat he said, in my head was thking 'wat? u curse ur on wife to go 'tanjung rambutan' ar?'. But anyway his reaction can be reasonable coz the reason he move in to my house is bcoz my grandma beat him with a stick during midnight bak in their old house. So, my grandpa quickly make his decision to move bak to his old house. And im so happy that i saw him packing all of his things bak compare to the last time when my grandma entering the wad but without the crazy thing la of course......but his mattress still in my house, and that worried me like hell that he will be back soon.

2day, the 1st grandpa-less day since the pass few months. i hav a good time chatting wit my mum and i mean talk anything without hesitation. my mum complain a lot of things when 'he' is in home and she felt relieve coz she said that she gain her freedom bak in her own house. And i really enjoy chatting with my mum, i dono y but i juz like it. so i hope that my mum really can get some good rest these few days when he is no around....dono he will b bak o not?

my mum feels happy, i also feel happy. i really felt like i wana jumping around my house when my grandpa said he was going to his old home.

finally, i hope my grandma will recover soon, and everything will run smooth since she now started to hav hemodialysis. hope my mum's cough which last a few months already will get better. hope everything will b good and earth will be a safer place for living(erm guess i watch too much english series, side effects). oh and hope he is not coming back....i mean never....^^"

from : cockroach thk that some cockroach does fly

New layout, new post

Haha i juz change my blog layout, the truth is it's easy and din take much time actually.....juz some copy and paste that university's student are good at.

Tis is juz another random post, when 2 swim tis morning, is more like a sunbath.....my skin tonne totally change from dark to even darker, shit!!! go swimming, watching a koala bear teaching another koala bear son to swim and wat u noe, the koala bear son can swim now.....haha.

For the 1st time i cant sleep the whole nite yesterday since i got home, i guess im juz havnt suit myself in my new room though or my mind is wondering around that coz it happen......anyway, it time 2 move over i think, my blog hav a new skin and i thought i should hav a new self too.

For the past few days, actually a few weeks since the holiday started, wat i do is downloading movie and plying stupid pc game (cant show the name here, it juz so dumb). Chasing a series called Fringe, i thk i juz addicted to it.....im so determined and eager to finish the series....haiz. When will i do something more useful instead of watching, plying and sleeping.......FML

From : Cockroach cant fly.....

Cameron Highland trip....

Its semester holiday again!!!! haha, 1st stop is cameron highland......

erm.....tis is my ss photo lah....tis the waterfall on the road to cameron highland. actually tis post i mimic som1's photo but i cant recall who photo is it....hehe. it's quite beautiful de, i kinda miss the waterfall ride at bekok's waterfall.

tis is 1 of the view taken of the waterfall, is beautiful thought...at that very moment felt wana jump into it but i din do it anyway.

haha, i post tis pic is because at that moment i felt more auntie compare to the auntie bside me...hehe. mayb because of cheam's bag gua.

so on the 1st day we went to some park at cameron....the pic was taken at one of the butterfly park. the experience was good bcoz the butterfly in side the park are flying freely. it also make us difficult of taking picture with the butterfly.

The photo was taken in KAE farm, the park basically consist of many different kinds of flower especially roses.....the pic was the pink color rose.

tis is the view taken on top of the park.....which the process of climbing was quite exhausting.

tis is strawberry moment which is the only strawberry restaurant in cameron highland.

tis is pancake wit strawberry

mash potato that i order la, i still rmb som1 took my tomato slide......

the 2nd day.......we join a tour guide to c the rafflesia flower and it was a 'waoh' experience.

the location of the jungle was located at the border of kelantan....b4 the jungle walk, we hav a wat i call.....mud ride adventure....it was totally awesome....

the land rover that our life depends on.....i kinda made tis up though

this the largest and yet stinkiest flower. but due to the rain, i cant smell anything when having a close look up of the flower.

taking picture with the two heros that drove us up to the jungle which i thk was a very tough job.

ar....the blow pipe also known as the legal weapon...now only i noe that the blow pipe in west malaysia is different with east malaysia. east malaysia's native uses wood while in west malaysia's native uses bamboo to produce the weapon.....

this was the house of the native, which is actually a 'kedai runcit' refer to the writing on the door.

after lunch, we went to BOH tea centre.....erm juz ignore the model of the picture....

the tea farm's view is stunning.

next stop was the mossy forest, we were inform that the forest was juz like the scene in the lord of the rings or avatar......the jungle is really beautiful but not as beautiful as the scenes in the movie.

overall, tis was a nice experience 4 me la, bcoz tis was the 1st time i been to cameron highland....haha thx to the driver and mr tay that plead or rather threaten the driver to drove us to cameron highland.....

instinct or be wise?

recently juz found out that im not thinking much on making some decision. is not like i straight on do somthing without any thoughts but is that when somthing that i wanna 2 do flash on my mind, i will juz straight on going to do it without thking twice abt it. i usually take a lot of time thinking whether i shld or i shouldnt on making a decision even is a simple 1, worrying tis worrying that. but now, things seem to b different, im tire to thk wat is rite or wrong...i juz basically follow my instinct and somtimes i felt im a bit reckless. for example, 2day i wake up from a afternoon nap around 5pm and suddenly i decided i wan 2 go swimming, so i did go swimming alone without any extra consideration. But b4 tis, if i wanna go swim i will definitely call my frens whether they wanna go onot which always ends up not going out.....

so, i dono tis is a good sign or bad sign.....i juz noe that im not that '婆婆妈妈' anymore....i will 'snap' making the decision regardlessly right or wrong. tis kind of feeling sure feels good, u dono wat will happen next when u make the decision recklessly.

anyway, my swimming session 2day was horrible, i thk i lost all my staminas.....i cant even last for an hour......FML

from : ur frenly neighbourhood cockroach

random....

im writing tis post coz i basically cant sleep. too much unfinish business on my head rite now. too much things i nid to worry. basically my mind is juz like totally 'mess up', the second i wanna do tis and the next i don.....and somtimes i determine 2 do that thing, i will definitely do that although ther is others opposing it, for example, i dye my hair, i noe my parent will not like it but i still doing it(cant explain dono y?). 2day i went in to a sport's wear shop and i nearly buy a sweater with a price tag 'RM109' on it. thx goodness by that time the fren bside me is not provoking me to buy it.....if not i will buy it 4 sure and that the decision i regret afterward.

my emo level had been turn down a little after yesterday's yamcha and it's kinda turn up again 2day.....cant mention the reason.....but it sure make me cant sleep la. luckily, 2day i went 4 a midnight movie with my frens.....that would cover some of sleepless hour.

ARH!!!!! dono wat i could write anymore and im still not feeling sleepy.....perhaps some pumping will juz do the trick........and that all 4 now.

nerdy life?

haha....dono y? tis few day i feel more suffer than times when im in my hostel room. every problem is juz like i don wanna care anymore, my head hav a sentence that is"wat will b, it will b and so let it b".....i always thought my home is my shelter, i feel bad and i juz hide inside it nvr com then everything will ok......that was a foolish thought though. Nthg in this world works eternally.......accept it i mean EVERYTHING!!!!!!

im hiding in my room for 2 days liao, feels nthg, watching a nerd drama series called 'chuck'. I juz dono y i like the series, mayb a nerd saws a nerd will hav a special feeling......i cant b sure abt that. i phone dell customer service 2day, getting my laptop fix will be costing a lot, so my father better 2 change a new 1.....now now, here another thing i nid 2 thk in deep consideration......shit!!!! im juz too tire of thinking......2day i juz known that my device get an A-. is that a good news? i wonder? it juz a disaster tis sem......at least i noe i will pass......

wat im say is, im lost yet again.....i will lost myself whenever i found a bit of myself, hilarious huh? cant help it. hope som1 will find and save me from the lost and found counter, somewhere...

from : ah!!! bla bla bla

a tonne of shits.......

recently, i juz dono y. i get mad at somthing so easily and in the process i thk i definitely will piss som1 off with tis kind of behavior. all of these is cause by the shitty things that happens to be happening......my house got broke in, my mom sickness getting worse, my grandfather moving in my house(for many of u, tis may not b a problem but 4 me is definitely a god damn problem), i did superbly bad in my exam and lot lot more.......that juz forking bullshit.

i juz will get mad so easily and starting to smashing and throwing things....the pressure is so high even when im in the exam hall my head suddenly gone blank by looking at the question i should b able to answer. FML, 4 the 1st time, i felt tis scare in d exam hall, coz is juz like forgeting everything.

basically, tis semester is juz a totally disaster 4 me, i hav a few killer lecturer and i cant do well in my final exam also.......but the thing i worried the most is my mom's health and now dad's too. My mom hav a neuro disease that prevent her from heavy workload. but now due to the 'new uninvited guest' in my house, my mom's burden get heavier. is not like the old man force my mom to do somthing, is juz like old folks hav certain obsession in life like every meal nid to hav a bowl of rice(if u don get it nvm, is better than u don), my mom hav to cook for him rice and soup separate from our meal, that was juz.........ya i noe u all might think is not hard to cook a little bit more, my mother was sick and somtimes when she feel tire, we will juz hav maggi or i go' da bao' for her........i can c the tiredness mentally through my mother's eye and that makes me feel 'sibe' uncomfortable.

moreover, i hav a 'new room' thx 2 our guest of 'honour', i cant sleep well also even when im at home......fxxk that. i juz get bak from parit raja a day and i felt very uncomfortable dy. i can c my father health problem getting worse and my parent are arguing more often now( 1day twice, that a new record, normally is like 1 shooting and 1 diam diam go away de, but nw different). This is also mayb due to the things that happen in our family, the 'new hohour guest' and my grandmother will hav to start hemolysis* (i dono was that the rite spelling)........

the story continue to my latest shit that i encounter yesterday. My laptop was malfunction, it planned to fail at tis kind of time (my 'happy'(now not so happy la) 2 month holiday ). all is bcoz i put my laptop on the bed and coz the laptop to overheat. Now my laptop is juz like a HIV or cancer patient waiting 4 his/her turn to meet our father in heaven. The illness of my laptop is known as the black screen of death according to the info i search on the net la. is basically a motherboard problem and u hav no other way to solve it but to call the dell service center. $ ur in fo, my warranty is over and it is fxxking expensive to get it repair........somtimes i juz felt wanted to cry but the tears juz wont com out coz im not the kind of person who likes to cry......

anyhow, shit does happens in everyone's life. the purpose of tis post was juz releasing my anger here b4 i release on others. is still make me feel very uncomfortable with 'new guest',somtimes i juz felt like i wanna to get him out of my house, but sadly i din do it anyway coz i juz not that kind of cruel person, coz he hav no place to live dy bside my house. so, don hate those bad character in those hong kong movie of treating their elder rudely coz ther mayb a rational behind the story and i was experincing it now.

so that 4 now, i apologizes coz i noe i mencarut alot in tis post.....

from : ur emo-ing cockroach which is trying to b a bad person