happy at last

i noe my title is kinda stupid. but who care anyway. last sunday i attended my good fren's wedding dinner, im very happy my fren found a nice guy and gone married. but sometimes it doesnt feel good when ur fren is getting married and u don even hav a gf before, thats kinda sucks.

ok, back to the title. as usual im attending the wedding dinner with my secondary school frens. the whole nite is all abt cam whore. although i not a person who prefers cam whore, but actually i did enjoy cam whoring with them. im enjoying the process is not bcoz i had chance to take pictre with so many leng lui but actually i realise that i laugh for that hard for so damn long since i bak to uni. is like im not really laughing for 2 or 3 months. now i baru notice im so that not happy when im in university. nthg worth laughing abt......fml

anyway, thats a great nite, i enjoy myself, i bet others enjoy themselves too. so here is a photo of us gathered that day......i crossing fingers that the bf of them don come and whack me......haha

feeling bad.....

i really dono wher to start, but anyway, is been a though week, i had 3 test, 1 fyp presentaion....although i finished my last test paper, but somehow i din felt any happier. Felt like im totally fuck up this 2 months, ther is not a day i felt happy abt it.....everyday new shits arise.....juz a summary, my phone broke, im broke due to the bastard, i get killer panel, my tayar 'puncit' in campus area, i get sick in the middle of the test week. Im not blaming anything anyway, mayb ther is ppl tht is more unfortunate that me, or mayb tis time im having a happily ever after life, perhaps this kind of problems is like 'kacang' for certain person..........mayb, mayb, mayb.....

But sometimes i will get into a state wher i c everything in a negative way. Is hard to explain......when im at that state, i tend to get pissed easily, i like to throw things around, slamming doors that i wont usually do(trust me im still doing it now)......it somehow thats another face of myself, the anger part of my self.

Life certainly is not fair. nthg is fair. ther r rich ppl and certainly thr is poor ppl to prove the existance of the rich ppl. Some r getting bad luck all his life but some can happy go lucky on his whole life. Ther is juz too many unexplainable fairness in this world and ya is kinda fuck up.......i hate it.

i dono y im typing tis anyway.....tis is wat i felt.....anyway im still fucking sick now, hope i can well soon.....haiz, life sucks.....

psm.....

After two day of sleepless nite, i finished up my psm seminar paper but sadly the whole was a mess and i still had to include many things inside it. And i juz know that my panel is a killer, my co-supervisor expression is damn weird when he heard the name of my panel.........FML.

The reason im writing blog and not doing my seminar paper now is because im kinda sick.......i cant even c the keyboard properly. The best part is that i need to submit the paper on tis friday and thats the final due date. The funniest of all is.......i basically have 3 test and a psm presentation on next week.......felt like som1 pls pinch me，am i dreaming, damn!!!! Hopefully my dizziness will felt better 2mrw and i can continue my work..........seriously need help but the person who can help me is none other than myself.

So, all i can do now is 'finger-crossed' because that the only thing i can do in the moment.........hopefully i can have some 'kicks' to complete my paper.

Peace out and may peace be with each and everyone of u.......

Updates.......

There had been alot of shits happening......like usual. It kinda makes me feels like life is juz all abt shits......

Rcently, or can i say tis few days, i been using 200 to 300 juz to settle the rental for last month and tis month.....fml. I some how get frustrated, due to unmature thinking of a diploma student living at my house. The story starts when my housemate which is a engineer suddenly gets a offer to b a lecturer at curtin university in sarawak. Of course, he 3x7=21decided to go ther, after all sarawak is his hometown ma. So, after his departure, things started to get worse on the matter of 'rental

fees'.

Then, another shit arise the surface. My another housemate's wife is getting transfer here to batu pahat. At 1st, it seems to be a good thing not until they get to noe that the place she been transfer to is far far away frm parit raja which called tongkak pecah(is kinda kampung area la). So, my housemate needed to move out since his wife is teaching so far away frm where we live now. He promise me that he will definitely, paying the rental till end of tis january means after then sem ended. (kinda relief)

Next, i really had to thank God for tis. Since they r moving out and i cant afford the rental anymore, so i had to move out after tis semester. But believe it or not, i found a house to stay after the day the decision was made. Sounds so unbelievable, at 1st i thought will be a hard time to find a house to rent since that was my last semester. Really grateful for that.

Now then, the best part. The diploma student i mention earlier, he came bak to starts his new and final semester, we told him our decision and hope he will find a house to move. But sadly that guy din even try to find, he juz say he will stay here after we move out. Due to our generosity, we felt guilt lo, then my housemate kinda found a new housemate to stay with us. The original plan is like tis, we will inform the owner of tis house that we will not b renting it after january and we planned to use up the 2 months deposit means at least we can reduce our burden of the rental fees.

And somehow tis guy i will call it '程咬金‘suddenly say he don wan to move out spoil everything. Now i basically need to pay double of the rent i usually paid......FML. If he some how move out, evey1 would b happy........i kinda lost the money i planned for cny for a new shoes, jeans or some new clothes. Now, guess i had to wear the same old shoes, same old jeans and same old clothes thx to that guy. I had a little bit of hating him now.......i dono y, i really gets emotional easily especially when im in pressure. But think frm another perspective, the guy is too young dono wat he is thinking, i probably will think the same way if i was at his age. So, basically i shld b mad but im mad........somehow, somewher,some i dono wat la

Trust me, im not having much money left. Im trying to spend less everyday starting frm 2day for the sake of not having to 'eat grass'. At least today i think i manage to use juz rm10 for eating. Thats a good start at least.

Haiz, nthg to blame la........if the shit is meant to urs, then it will come to u eventually. Believe or not, juz now im having webcam chat with my best fren, although we din chat much, but at least i felt better in the process........So, Father above, if u hear me, u noe my needs, so pls drop some money frm the sky to let me spend........haha juz kidding.

So, gd nite, and here is another negative statement i made at my blog again........

Im still the old me huh?

Always had some weird feeling when i com bak study at Parit Raja. Seems like i wont had that kind of feeling during my primary or secondary school, i wonder y? The feeling of worthless and useless keep on attacking me.......and i keep telling myself i can overcome tis coz i had gone through 3 yrs of studies at here already. I shld b strong enough to withstand all of tis.........craps or shits that happen around me.

If u all don noe me that well, well im basically a 'lazy' kind of person. I onli get serious when somthing got my attention.........but however seems like i cant withstand it somehow although the things does attracted my attention and interest. Recently, PSM is been a headache, the test 2 is very near(and i din study abit), cf is basically a 2 men show or rather 1 and half men show( the half of it is me la, i din contribute much), and my housemate brings back his wife to live at our house. And somehow it annoys me, not bcoz of his wife though.......but i cant stop thinking those stupid things i did in the past, i dono how explain it. Accumulate all those element i mention juz now, it turns out to be a big pile of shit hole......that had unlimited supply of shit.

I had the urge to juz put down everything or run away and juz mainly focus on my own studies......my studies recently drop drastically, i felt terribly sry to my parents. Guess im not the kind of person that can really withstand pressure huh? i try to take the 1st step to say that im strong enough to taken care of tis things.........seems like im lost and defeated. I fail on my studies and i fail to kept my promises i had made with God...........felt completely useless........all my darkest nightmare com haunting me at once.

God can i? i really felt tired and i dono wat to do.......the words 'giving up' keeps pops up in my mind. What shld i do? Is the determination we made does really matters? I felt really dulan liao, can i juz go home every week and be a PBSM from now on.......believe me or not, i felt i wan 2 cry dy liao.......hope i can really withstand it........

i wan solution ar !!!!!!!

The tear rush feeling

Today is the day im going bak good old 'king drain' aka Parit raja again. i going bak seremban to claim the warranty of my phone that i had only used for 3 months.......haiz.

Its been a bad week for me so far......i nearly make my motor 'puncit', i had to find a new house to live next semester, my phone broke, my co-supervisor giving me a hard task that until now i cant solve and yeah most importantly, i been having severe diarrhea for 2 days. FML.

Its seems like so much had happen in a split second, suddenly everything is rushing towards u. The tear rush feeling i mention above is today after i hoop on the bus back to PR. Before the bus starts, i starring at my mum and dad who is there starring at my bus also, waiting the bus to leave. Juz dono y, i felt like crying suddenly while starring at them. I felt so terrible that, they sacrifice almost their whole life to raise me up. And all i do was having sucks greds and cant even think of some simple coding. I felt is not rite to study far away frm them and cant b at their side. All i do s using their money onli........Recently, many of my frens had 'pull red curtain' dy, and sadly to say that i din even 'pak tou' or bring a girl home to show to my parents. Sry mum, sry dad........although my age is more than enough to go 'pak tou' but juz dono y it will end up like tis. People said, don be to obsess of a tree since ther is a big forest of tree available, but my thinking r a bit weird though. I believe that ther will b onli juz 1 tree that is suitable for me nia......juz dono when i would found it.

LAst week when to genting(thats the place i got my diarrhea frm i think), the celaka punya security guard always checks my IC everytime i enter the casino. Am i that young or my face juz look very suspicious. I wonder...........

Felt abit better after spilting out all this craps........hope 2mrw will be a better day and hopefully i can figure how to do my psm la.......God bless me and God u all too la........Every1 gd nite and sweet dream......

Senior convo......

Haha, i usually don attend senior's convo coz im lazy, juz that simple. tis year however, i changed coz 'her' is going to graduated......haha

She is the senior i most respected in cf. She had nthg special though but her consistency of her serving God in cf and church never stops although by that time, we face alot of shit. She tat kind of person that do things senyap2 de. And guess wat, im the bastard that always left the work to her when we r in cf. And yet, she doesnt sound abit nia.......she is hundred times alot stronger compare to the situation i witnessed now. She is juz way more better.

Kinda miss her though, miss the time we serve in cf together and the piano sound.......haha. She is the only pianist at cf (now of course no piano anymore, only some lame guitar plying by me). Anyway, i sincerely wishing her for a better future in her career and also wish her could faster find a bf also(very kelian d, the girls who r willing to serve, no boys wan them).......

So, good luck senior........keep serving for God.......

Short happy time

Happy time sure goes as like it's flying.......i com bak seremban on thursday and 'pops' suddenly is saturday nite dy. Means that 2mrw i will b heading bak good old 'king of drain'.

Really enjoy tis few days accommodation at my home, i used the word 'accommodation' coz its living for a few days and u nid 2 'chau' after that, so is kinda like a hotel la. Tis few days, i had ate alot of mom's cooking, her cooking is still the best. haha. Dad's gonna had a job next month, is somthing like fetching kids frm school la.....

As usual, i cant do any studies at home......i din open the books i shld study at all.....i juz basically sleep and watch tv. i had a severe flu after i got back here.....the nose is running like crazy......hate that though.

Haha, after coming bak realy felt my mum miss me alot......is bad for me to not coming bak frequently, i don hav a gf or somthing, so shld b no excuse to com bak home......haha. started to crazy again......

ok la,,,,,,enough of the dose of crap of my own.......will stop here, hope 2mrw will be a better day for everyone of us.......

the suffocate feeling.....

Dono y la, juz felt wanted to split some words here. Recently felt suffocate suddenly.......and seems like no1 can help me.

Tis few weeks, im bz with things at cf and my study.......at first i think i can handle it pretty well. but the ugly truth is that i suddenly felt like im starting to crack somehow. The feeling is not good at all, i sense the urgency of some changes made on cf but i juz cant do it. Every1 is like doing their own thing and or i can rather say, they abandone it? ther was no sense of unity at all......between all the cf committee members. Got bf go find bf, wan kao lui go kao lui, bz wit study de, and another headache 1 is he does things all by his own without our notification........juz left a brother who had a same view that something nid 2 b changes. b4 tis i said loud and clear that i will cooperate with the brother to make some changes. but now seems like, the changes havnt been made and im starting to crack. im sick of choosing my study or my religion. balancing the 2 things is the most fxxking hard thing in my life i think, at least for now. when i finish the things at cf (which practically say is a forever unfinish business), then i would had to catch up my studies.

i muz concentrate on my study because im the only son at my family. the family needs me man. i cant afford to extend 1 sem or get delayed my graduation. and in the other hands, doing God's work is also a very important task for me also, i wont c it lightly. so, ther is some controversy going on. 2day, i had a fxxk up day. morning i had a badminton session bcoz a cf's brother suddenly had a test and he cant handle it. then at noon i need to go teach a junior abt coding (1st time teach ppl leh, after 3 yrs i had been in uthm.) that i havnt been looking at it for 1 yr. So, at nite, i nid 2 go out with my lovely housemate farewell dinner la. He is going to be a lecturer at curtin university at sarawak.

Juz dono la, i think got the heart wana to serve the lord more, i tend to get tired more easily........sometimes i really wanted to had a life like others typical university students, like hang out wit boys and girls ar, ply counterstrike together ar, or go travel. without anything related to cf or churches. coz recently seems like im whole life is full of those 'things' onli. recently i seldom calls my mum coz i noe i cant bak home so frequently bcoz of cf and homework.

Next, like i said my housemate is moving out. He is the 1 who is paying the large portion of the rental most of the time coz he os working. after his departure, the rental is really gonna b a big problem. if not mistaken, i nid 2 pay abt rm200 or more per month for the rental if he is gone. tis time i really nid 2 eat grass baru boleh survive lo......

Those problems i faced might been small cases to u all, but for me, is like a hell of a problems. i had a happy go lucky attitude, but when i started to get serious, it seems like it drags me down my power drastically. is like u suddenly using a c70 motor kap to speed up until 100 somthing mph, possible? the combination of those shits, is more than i can handle. im trying hard to b more positive, but i juz cant stop the fatigue inside my mental self. an dilemma is going on, whether is shld continue like tis or juz concentrate on my study, practically i think my parents are more important to me. dono la, the bottom line is i don like choosing, especially all the option given means so damn much to me.

Some bad thoughts also sometimes, if im a more typical university student and din joined cf. will i still b single and kinda not available? haha, dono lo, better go ask God.

enough of thrash talks......gd nite everyone............

Convo fever.......

It just like a convo crazy, because when i opened up my facebook, there will certainly some convocation photos posted on it. Sometimes i will juz open it up to c either bcoz is the photo of my frens or i saw a lenglui inside the photo. haha. neither way, i felt terribly sry for all my frens who r having their convocation that i cant attend and i don have the money to buy them present either, except those who blackmail me la.

tis semester is a big of mess. everything is like pouring down on me. i nid more and more and more time to sort those things out. i still learning to arrange my time more effectively. everytime i planned a thing, must have somthing else com out to spoil it. damn. i nid 2 done my psm, i nid 2 done my assignments, i nid 2 done my serving in cf, i nid 2 do tis and i nid to do that. is like haiz.....y like tis. i cant even find a suitable time for me to go home. yails. felt sry though to my parents. my mum always tell me u no nid 2 com bak so frequent but i noe they certainly want me to com bak once in awhile. im not like living in sabah or somthing.......im going just a bus trip away nia.

really hope i can get the chance to go home more frequently and yea hope that my convocation will have ppl willing to com( im kinda scare that no1 will com for it coz i ffk many ppls convo dy.haha).

so, is time to work out. the weather is nice, im going out to jog for awhile. haha

finally some relieve.....

during the 4 months of holiday, i had done my internship at ON semiconductor but sadly i forgot to register my subject at my faculty. Sound sucks rite? is really sucks trust me......when i go check at the faculty, all those staff asking was 'y u din register? y all ur frens registered?'. For that moment i really dono how 2 answer them. luckily, ther is 1 of the staff ther which i think is quite 'helpful' la. he din scold and tell me wat shld i do to get tis situation fixed. All the thing he told is to get approve letter frm industrial visit supervisor and the industrial training committee as a proof to write a letter to our dear lovely faculty dean........sweat rite? i nvr once step in to the dean office. So i ran here, ran ther so settle up the document needed and took me quite some time to type the letter which is in malay anyway(official letter must all in malay).

but thx God that, tis morning i went to check out the letter status at the dean personal assistant office, and the deputy dean is juz reading it and juz on time i can explain the situation i faced and all those confusion i had causing me not to register the subject. And yeah, he said ok and he will call his PA to settle it for me........when i heard the word spill out frm his mouth.....i fet so damn relieve man, is like im moving frm hell to heaven.

this matter is bugging me since i coming bak to the university. and im so glad that everything was settle. phew!!!

haha.......now im relieve and sleepy so i will juz stop here la.......wish every1 have a good day ahead.......

hapiness that cant b share here......

haha, today im hapi........although i din do anything production but im still hapi. 2day is saturday, thats mean i still have abt half day to finish up my proposal, yaiks.......the cruel fact is, i din even started the thing yet......next week mesti kena supervisor shoot gao gao.

so who cares i din finish my work. actually no1 does, juz go to bed and 2mrw is a brand new day.....haha. thats all of my crap......gd nitez!

some update......

after coming bak uthm.......like usual, a pile of shit is waiting me. i found out i havnt register my internship subject, i register the wrong subject for tis semester and most jialat, my supervisor chg my topic of fyp. now the topic is somthing related to tomography dy, more on medical part dy. yaiks!

after coming bak uthm, i miss the moment i was at seremban leh......believe it or not, i kinda miss the time i was in ON having my internship. everything seems to be so calm ther, and ther got a bunch of gila2 fren ther who r all smaller than me and they r willing to let me join them also. And also not 2 forget, my bunch of feicai gang in seremban.......i miss them damn much, sadly i think i cant c them not until cny. next, i miss tv alot, after having 4 months of tv i think i cant live without it. i still havnt finish watching the korean drama which im felt is kinda interesting. but back to reality, a person muz always face and conquer the obstacles they faced. not matter in wat situation or wat circumstances, ur problem is still ur problem. So, now i wont complain but at least try my very best to adjust my attitude to face it.

Life contains of numerous ups and downs. i may b in the 'down' state but i believe i can get myself through all tis craps and thats the way it is........haha

enough of those crap talk......is midnite and i wan 2 get some sleep, 2mrw still nid 2 wake up for church, so peace out guys, have a nice day ahead.

blood donation

new sem, new challenges and new problems arise. i went to the blood donation yesterday, hope chging some new blood can help chg my luck, is nthg juz bad luck since i bak to uthm........below is the pic of my hand with the bandage after the donation.

is the 1st time i donate and din felt any dizziness. blood donation which i felt is kinda noble act, so i also always encourage ppl to go donate blood.

some thought b4 being a johorian again

haha, 2mrw or shld i say 2day im going bak Johor again for the start of a new semester. this would b my last semester and is kinda headache. without even realizing it, i spend my 4 months holiday by onli working.

however, i felt hapi during tis holiday despite of working most of the time. i had manage to met 2 frens that i havnt met them for a long time. one is a ex-classmate, we actually when to the same primary and secondary school, that was until form 3 la. he was the guy that kinda inspire me to actually look on books and not tv. seriously, that guy is dam discipline. but his reputation during form 6 in st. paul is not that good la. according to a comment frm a girl i met at onsemi on him. then the next 1 is a fren frm church. he went to work oversea at ireland. its been 5 yrs i din c him. tis time he look more muscular and had dye his hair. lokking at him makes me wana dye my hair too. haha juz thinking. he is still kinda introvert, and i think im becoming kinda 'banyak mulut'. i do most of the talking.......haha paise la. really, realy hapi la, is really hapi u met a 'long time no c' fren.

Next, tis is basically a prank. those trainee i met in Onsemi thought i had a gf when they saw the photo of tay ai yin birthday celebration on fb. they keep on asking me abt it during the badminton seesion. they keep teasing me say i diam diam tapi also very hebat. i use quite a lot of my energy just to explain to them that, those girls r juz my frens nia. haha, who cares i don hav a gf anyway, at least i got a bunch of leng lui frens is good enough 4 me liao. i juz realize im darn lucky to hav leng lui accompany com out 'pou' coz according to them, they can hardly to date out a single girl out to 'pou' with them. suddenly felt im so damn lucky to hav tis bunch of frens.

last is a great news. fianally my parents is going for a trip for like 10yrs more. those two old biscuits aka 'lou peng' finally can enjoy themselves. they had been taking care of my grandparents for such a long time without any reward. the only reward they get are sickness, tiredness and time wasting. i don wan 2 mention much, later i will get mad. anyway, they r going cameron highland which i thk is a fun place( at least i did enjoy myself when i last visited ther). wish them happy vacation la.

欢乐的时光过得特别快，又是时候跟seremban讲拜拜啦。i will miss everything in seremban, that includes my frens, parents, my house, mum's cooking and my stinky bed too. haha......enough of the craps. so sayonara seremban......meet u next chinese new year.

The freaking feel of open school

The freaking and uneasy feeling comes every time when the school opening is around the corner. I started to got tis feeling during my primary school days. I tend to hav c all the holiday's homework undone coz i usually don open books when my holiday mood is officially 'ON'. tis holiday is juz make no different coz i had a lot of things plan 2 do was not successfully complete or i can say, din putting effort of doing it. haha, i din look through the book i shld learn for fyp preparation and some cf program preparation too. The whole holiday is like working, working and working.....nonstop, and im juz starting my holiday juz few days nia. And i had to go bak the place so called 'hell' or UTHM aka universiti tenggelam habis malaysia.

BEsides those academic related muz do list, b4 the holiday i planned to go somewhere to ply de like Penang. but i really have no idea my whole holiday will end up like tis. b4 tis, the longest part time working period i gone through was juz 1 month nia due to my laziness. haha. but surely i have more income, but it turns out i earn more, spend more in the same time also. The income i gain frm it seems to be juz enough to buy the things i wan and daily expenses during the holiday.

Really felt tis holiday, plying part is juz not so enough.

haha, suddenly having a rush of finding a gf coz many of my frens call me to find 1. but sadly the rush juz remain for a few hours nia......not long. many ppl i cant get girl is my self confident problem, i had to admit im not quite confident in front of girls la but the main problem is not that. Is more like a ghost frm the past bugging me. Don ask me wat? i think most of my fren noe it. but anyway, is not my concern now for tis kind of problem.

There is another priority i mention is my future. I started to had tis feeling coz now my both parents are not working and that means my family now basically have no source of income. Ther is an urgent nid of me to find a job to earn some money for the family. Haiz, but i still have 1 yr of study left leh. So, i decided to study sibe hard for tis remaining year to 'pia' my cpa. In order to hav a nicer job in the future. Those girls crap i can put aside temporary so that it wont blocking me to achieve my goals. So, i pray to God don let me encounter any girl that will make my heart beat like crazy, pls, thank you and u r welcome. haha.

Enough of my trash talk, i also dono y i got the mood to share it but hey mayb is due to the open school syndrome i had.......so peace out guys and had a nice day ahead.

Holiday happening continues

Having a hiking trip to ulu bendul, tired but happy. back to nature always make me feel damn good.





Next, after my internship at on semiconductor. I'm stil stuck there by having part time job which is juz inspecting the leadframe which having stains issue. Result from that I can earned a little bit more money and I have 2 access card of on.


Then I receive a postcard frm a fren and wat she wrote was juz telling me to quickly find a girlfriend.and the best part is my dad read it coz when thr card arrive my house, I stil working. Damn! Tis is the postcard though, is nice I kinda like it, if the picture is' orang utan' it would totally be perfect.



Haha, time does pass quickly.i din really enjoy my holiday at all. So,i decided dy,i muz enjoy the rest of my holiday.

Tis is the first I'm using my phone to post my blog, dono wil it work or not. But who cares, swype does come in handy.

Holiday~~~

Wat i done so far for my super long holiday? here r some of the bits and pieces of my holiday.

So basically i juz let the photo to do the talking.

1st, i went to a trip to tanjung sepat with my family.

Having some reunion wit some really........old frens

here is me and my buddy chu en

fadhil and elias who r my senawang 2 classmate.

and get some time organise the long time no c stamp album, din collect stamp for many years though......haha

Ya, last but not least, my internship at ON semicon........tis is me wearing the smock, i wear tis almost everyday......haha

anyway, im gonna end my internship soon, still thinking wat to do during the rest of the holiday.....and hopefully it could be meaningful......

Guess nthg was perfect.....

Haha, i finally settle my internship stuff. Im officially going 2 intern at ON semiconductor. Cant wait but in the mean time i felt scare, coz it is a big company. I believe it was lucky they pick me though or rather strategical (coz my house is nearby the factory). Hmmm.......i wonder. But anyhow, who cares, i decide myself wher shld i go.

Actually starting tis week is my study week, due to the tradition of my faculty's teachers, we still have presentation, exhibition and extra class. So, ther goes my study week, it not so 'study week' at all. FML. Others faculties student going ba so fast, they even started going bak last tuesday......haiz!!!

Recently, my housemate's motor was stolen......bad luck. the security in parit raja is also not that good that i expected......next time i think shld b more kful......thx God, he can claim 4 insurance.

There is a chg of music taste of myself. Now i prefer song that have slow melody rather than fast beat and loud music. B4 tis im a totally fan of fast song, the faster the better. Recently been listen to power station, their song are slow rock......it juz felt very comfortable listen to it. and yet again, im using music to release my tension, really cant denied that. Guess many things started 2 chg when a person grew older.

2day, wat a surprise, my group won 1 of the prize at the micro p and micro c exhibition. Y it is surprising coz our circuit langsung tak work......mayb is because the panel saw our effort of doing it and understand it. We answered all the questions that the panels asked, but dono is the right answer or not. Man......i really nid 2 brush up my english speaking, now i tend 2 giggle whenever i try 2 speak in english........sucks big time.

lastly, a new song......dono is a new song or not but i juz found it on youtube......i like the song, i been it over and over all nite long.......

原来

原来很多东西只要你肯去闯，没有不可能的，

原来偶尔在家拖下地板，也不是一件很难的事，

原来很多事，只要你肯去做，没有东西你是做不了的，

原来很多东西没你想象中那样复杂，世界还是很美好的，

原来你的一句问候，能带给人家极大的安慰，

原来世界是不公平的，但如果你看到公平中的不公平，也代表你成长了，

原来只要你小心的去观察你日常生活，每一天你都会学习到新的功课，

原来，原来，原来。。。。。

最终，原来我脸皮还是不够厚，看来又要有遗憾了。。。。。。

Dilemma.....

Internship headache......juz went i thought everything is settle. ON semiconductor called, and they offer me the internship, nia xx. That was the last company that i thought will reply me and accepted me 4 internship.......still felt abit unbelievable. Haiz......

The problem now is have sign the reply letter 2 another company, and i dono whether i can reject the company's offer after i sign it onot? it juz ON is juz 2 tempting coz i can expose 2 many new things ther and not bcoz it is a multinational company or the allowance........

Guess now all i can do is had my finger crossed and hope God will lead the way.......thats y a sentence is alwayz true, that is 有早知，就没乞丐。。。。haiz, it juz gets even darker, darker and darker.......

Sharing a video.....like the song so much.....

That somhow wrap up my feeling now.......

Solve the shits out.....

Ya true im a very emotional person, i shldnt b in Seremban rite and ishldnt b writing things on my blog now. i got tonne of assignment and on monday i got a test too(not an easy 1, for me la). ya, im hoem now, i mean seremban. Good to b home, yes thats true. But somehow i din feel happy.....my feeling seems to b easily distracted.

2day my mum found the file where i kept all my certs, and i found a small paper note in it which i kept it like 7yrs ago. The paper note of her dude(it's not a love letter, don worry), i somehow dono y it end up ther man. i swear. but anyway, that note paper sure give a warning or signal 4 me though. it means I shld b backing off, base on previous experiences. Can u imagine how stupid im, i put the note in my certs file which is an important kind of file 2 me dude.

Ya, i thk it through clearly dy. I thk i rather die slowly compare 2 i expose myself and die on the spot. Unless God really give me the chance or a show me a way 2 do it. I always get mad unexplainable when i saw somthing i shldnt c........haha.

Now, im having a dizzy head, i mean im real dizzy. mayb the pressure is juz too much? or it juz im working so not that enough that somehow i end up in a state like tis......haha

Oh gosh, i wish i could noe.........

Recent happening.......

Lol......alot does happen tis few weeks.......they r earthquake, tsunami and now even radiation hazard.....everyone is scare like hell. Fake messages send by those brainless scammer r flying all over the globe. Guess they r too free huh? They r also stupid ppl talking stupid things (like always malaysia do, Malaysia Boleh rite?). From the ultraman comic to the brainless beehive hair Rosmah, 1st lady, kononnya.......

Personally, i din have much deep felling abt the earthquake and tsunami tht hits Japan. I juz live my own life and like always not being sensitive 2 things around me. All i care is the survival aurther of the japanese comic book. Without those comics, my life could b meaningless. Haha......Of course, some others also care abt the so called AV's idol in japan......1 of them die in the disaster......lots of 'malatlou' post it on fb, so i noe....haha, she does look pretty though.

Bside those things which caught my attention, the video of Rosmah does get my attention on how important, as a human being we share our love and sympathy 2 others who hav facing trouble. The so called 1st lady of Malaysia, said that Japan shld focus more on developing 'Green technology' and said that Japan is paying the prices now for not doing so. WTH, how she could so retard har? A country which din even put any effort on going Green, ask the another country who has been practising it 4 at least a decade to focus more on Green technology. Japan's technologies is like 10 streets ahead of us and their government have alot of policies that encourage their citizaen 2 go green.

My wishes is Japan can regain their composure fast and rise up again. Next, i pray 4 less retarded personnel 2 step talking craps ever again.......now the word Malaysia is funny enough 4 ppl 2 laugh till dead.......

At last i present u, the brainless Rosmah and her beehive hair too......she definitely need 2 go to the reality show called 'biggest loser asia'.......haha

sign of falling apart

lol.....same process, same routine but different ppl, different situation......guess wat? i experience it again......although the level of seriousness is nothing compare 2 last time.......but it sure can make me act weird nia.......i started 2 open my book and thk of my homework but although im seem 2 b very hardworking. Well, actually im not, my mind juz blank.......filled all wit that shit dilemma all over my head.......Guess better luck next time huh? not my time huh? queue up dude, wait ur turn huh?

Hate my coward-ness, so fxxking hate myself. The fxxk up past memory is now flipping through my mind over and over again.......shit!!!!!!

As like i say, is not so serious. Hopefully after i wrote all tis here, i will b able 2 wake up 2mrw 2 be a boy with will to study and did my job..........God Bless xxx and me too.......haha

Bring it on....

This week is juz a series of unfortunate events happening week. My motor broke down twice, im sick (cant even concentrate wit the severe headache i hav), a tonne of shit needed 2 solve and last and not least 'i lost my pendrive again!!!!'. Fxxk!!!

Juz when i felt im abit ok after an hour of sleep, i thk of try open up the code and try 2 understand it. That was the time i found out my pendrive gone, is probably left at the printer stall when i print my resume.......shit betul. It makes my head more ache afterward. I wan 2 b hardworking but sure ther is something din allow me of doing it.....

Its weird, tis kind of things is like a ghost or something, follows u wherever u go......juz sometimes i felt fade up with all tis things coming 1 by 1 and dono when will it stop.......haiz. Anyhow, hope i can get through it, im ready. Whether is blue sky waiting in front of me or juz another pail of shit. No fear, Mr Ooi is here.......FML

OLD???

Recently i found out that i felt tired easily. Is juz like frm the minute i wake up, i started to felt the tiredness inside me. Felt so tire and meaningless, waking up everyday in the morning, knowing that u cant get things straight. I seem to b having lot of unfinish business everyday, well when i thought i finish the crap for good, another pops up juz 2 giv u a 'surprise'. Juz dono how, i somehow end up like living my life is to covering up those craps that was originated frm me la (so i cant blame others also, juz i did bad i noe, but i juz cant chg it better). I wish im a more well organize person that wat im now. I hate others covering up my butt when especially the shit is coz by ME!!!!

Juz felt disappointed 2 myself. 1st time felt so nia, im usually a happy go lucky guy.......haiz. Felt disappointed of the determination and promise i made when i ac

cept the task. I will felt very

disappointed when i failed 2 do somthing i determined to accomplish. Im in such a dilemma until i cant even finish up any of my tasks.......FML. Perhaps, for person like me, only suitable for some simple things, simple life.......like the if the sky collapses is non of my business. Perhaps, is juz i hav too high expectation on it. Guess i shld stick 2 my principle again that is 'u wont get disappointed when u don hav the expectation at the 1st place'.

Sometimes it juz not feeling so good that when som1 doing the same thing but in a way that is way better than u. Trust me the feeling, SUCKZZz. Sometime i was thking, y they can do it that good and y cant we do it that good also? I tend to lose my will when i saw others are lazy. But no excuse la, i really din did my part juz quite enough.......shame on me. I noe my own weakness, i got some serious personal problem......and now is starting 2 affect m

y studies and the task i was given. The situation now is, i either choose 1 out of 2, or i juz did badly when choose 2 2gether,

juz like last sem.......i cant even get a 3 of my gpa.........haiz

Guess im too old huh? too old for this kind of serious thking.......apart of me telling me to give up, another part of me telling me to continue and struggle, u will make it eventually. Which 1 shld i listen? Option A or option B. Or there is an Option C for me? Im having a headache on me rite now, others keep telling me to do tis and that, and i noe thats wat shld i do. But if i cant solve tis shit out, i will end up like last sem, and i don wan it to happen. Its really struggle, i will still attend the nite's activity whenever ther is exam on 2mrw morni

ng o not? Others committee member will juz absent and said they wan 2 study got test 2mrw. So can i juz learn frm them also? The truth is i did badly on test tis morning, Again!!!!

Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma...........................can i juz run away frm all tis?

Guess all i hav 2 do now is doing the........

Valentine's 2 me is......

juz nothing......but it bring bad luck 2 me, at least tis 4 tis recent yrs.......tis yr, i screw my paper yet again......i really cant afford another 2.xx pointer again.......there is something i wanna do but it will effect the other side of things, and u noe wat im doing till now also, believing that it is rite........hopefully.

Din hav much thought on tis kind of day, doesnt seem it matters 2 me, since i was born. The news of muslim was banned of celebrating the Valentine's day caught my attention of this special day, well 4 those who involve la. I usually din giv a damn abt it, but tis yr seem like, 4 the 1st time i noe that feb 14 is valentine's day. Bcoz my fren keep posting sad love song on fb, some wishes happy valetine's day on fb and some even putting a picture stated 'fat mou' at home.......the last 1 was funny, laugh my head off.

Well, i did hav a feeling of getting a mate or gf on that day. But that feeling soon disappear after the day, so is no big deal. Ya, im not desperate, im not gonna get any frens that really noe wat i feel here, so y not try 2 find a soul mate. But like i said, 'love is a many stupid thing'. The minute u step in it, ther is no return......like hell, making deal with a cross-road demon......haha, supernatural nice series though. Oh and yea, i don hav a target yet, don asking me if im having a target, coz im wrting tis.

So, happy wit my frens who founded their soul mate, wish them happy, they happy, i also happy......lol. Next yr shld make a single party or single sing k session.......let those bloody sad single release their tension. Ya, the matter is damn serious, coz a fren can keep posting sad love song frm the day b4 till the day comes, non-stop. Really sweat.....or plan B, by that time i shld b at home, i shld juz celebrate it wit my parents lo, but it does really sound abit odd la. But who cares, i happy can liao la.

So, happy valentine's day and happy 2 screw my paper too........peace out.

Notice somthing nice around u

Since that 2day, every1 will b 'bai tian gong' except my house......in the area. The fire is cracking and of course the stupid dog is barking. It shld b a sleepless nite i thk. So i end up writing my blog.

Somtimes our eyes juz were block by too much of negative things like works, studies, your future, bf or gf and etc. We often din notice the small small things that worth to b happy of. For example, at nite my housemate was hungry, and he will ask us whether we wan 2 hav instant noodle or not? And ya, somtimes we will treat tis as somthing normal or nthg at all. We wil think, wats a big deal, cook mee onli ma.......we even din say tq sometimes also when we eating the noodles. Chg another way of thking, he can juz cook 4 himself and hide in his room and eat, instead he is sharing by cooking urs also. Sometimes we shld b happy or rather grateful of these kind of little things in our life.

2day i read a passage, its frm the writer of the movie '3 idiots', it says that 'We are like a pre-paid card with limited vadility', so why don don we live our more enjoyable rather than choked half dead by all those problem that happens in our life........So, be cool and treasure wat u hav in ur life, that include ur family, frens, colleagues and of course ur foes. Everything counts, and is ur choice of how will u live it?

Peace out.......i thk the dog bark until 'bo lat' dy......means i can sleep le, buh bye.....

Classmate reunion

Yesterday i hav attended my primary school classmate d gathering. At 1st i thought i will not make it to the gathering, but thx 2 som1's bf i hav the chance 2 attend it.

The venue was at senawang's McD. The feeling of meeting them is juz abit complicateed. Im happy coz long time no c la of course, im scared coz i fear that i will end up sitting ther and juz say nthg.... clearly im juz worrying too much, that all. Som of them is juz really ki siao de.

Long time din met them, some bcom prettier, some bcom more handsome, some gaining weight, some started smoking and there are also some really behave like 'lala'.....actually his fb's name also start wit 'lala' d.

We discuss of alot of things. !st is some basic things, like wat r u doing now? ur holiday until when ar? wher u work or study? who look fat or prettier? Haha......but when the time goes on, everything comes out, vulgar words la, recall where we sit and who we sit with during primary school. But most of the time, they discuss alot of teacher's thing coz among us there r 4 working as teachers. They complain how oddly students nowadays behave and 1 of us, the guy (who looks like lala) share his sweet memory of making fun of his teacher during secondary school. Can u imagine, the whole class lock the class's door for not letting the teacher get into the class. then when the door was opened, before the teacher getting mad, the whole class singing happy birthday song. the teacher react so happily thought that the students was celebrating his birthday but that was until one of the student said the song was not for u. Everyone who heard tis story wants 2 salute to my tis primary school fren.

And again, our 'class monitor' Pei Lee said that im too quiet yet again. She end up saying the same thing when we last met. that is 'y u so quiet d? got gf o not?', my answer is of course 'huh? no.'. Then she said 'u c, must b more talkative, baru got girl de'. Later i told her that she is saying the same thing again, she quickly say sry 2 me and said she is too old coz som of her colleague say she is at least 28 years old and got 2 children.....haha.

The gathering tis time is really more interesting la compare 2 the last time......the topics are not too far frm me a boy who com frm a kampung university....haha

my mum

i had a difficulty of naming the title everytime i decide 2 write somthing on the blog......nthg special, juz plain stupidity and lack of creativity that causing all tis.....

Ya my mum, the most important person in my world. Ok, i will roughly describe her, she a really nice, hav a super good temper and always will thought of others 1st before herself. The last 1 is 1 of the things i really proud and in the same dislike it also of my mum. Coz she juz dono how 2 say 'NO' sometimes.....haha.

Some says that the hav less topic to discuss with their parents. mayb coz of generation gap. but that certainly not my problem......haha. i discuss every single thing with my mum, except the part i fall in love with a girl, but certainly will inform her if i got a gf la......thats for sure. we can laugh and making joke around, sharing problem she is facing and wat problems im facing. everytime juz hav a tonne of things 2 said when i saw her especially now im not stying at home coz of studying. I still can rmb the times when father working outstation, i followed my mother go work at the church and having dinner which consist only 2 drumstick at home. By that time, we r poor but the life is sure simple and happy. everyday taking bus and i can still rmb she bring me 2 the lake garden 4 the rabbits and of course A&W.........haha.

Due 2 her super good temper, some part deep inside me was strongly influence by her. For example, im not a person who can juz really mad whenever i wan although i hav a bad temper( i thk i get tis frm my dad's gene). I realise that i don hav the power of terrifying others or rather make them scared, coz they juz wont be scared.So, the solution is i save up all my energy rather than wasted it on getting mad, coz it juz no point of doing it. haiz.......but anyhow im not a nice person, i could b mean and selfish person, not like my mum. I believes that good character build up when u r small, and the person building up my character is my mum. Well, sort of.......at least

im not a complete jackass.......

Really grateful to God giving me such a good mother. Ther r alot of good memories that she gave me. When i was a kid, i used 2 get sick frequently, the word frequently means 1 month 3 times visiting the doctor......but thks to her patience and care i finally make it out frm it. She even bancuh tea 4 me de leh.......not 1 or 2 days, is everyday. my frens coming also get shock that my mum is making tea for my father. my father is damn lucky of having my mother as his wife.

Finally juz wan 2 say that everyone's mum is good, practically ther r all the same, their motive r good, that is 2 fulfill their children needs and giving them suitable advise. Some of the mothers mayb harsh or rough 2 their children, that is juz another way they care abt u.......so talk to them more, hear wat they say, these simple action may mean alot to them.

......

随机，random。。。

每次在blog写东西的时候都觉得好像自己在‘自high’。每次都是写些有的没的，要不然就是就是些不知道对不对得价值观。当然，我还是会继续写更多的废话。很久没用华语写了，感觉很多字都不会了(这次一定会写很久，小六程度是酱咯）。

最近，听回很多旧歌，其实也不会很久啦，好象陶喆，jolin，王力宏，林俊杰，elva，光良品冠。很多歌都很好听。听了这些歌，想了很多事，好坏都有。所以说，歌是一个很妙的东西。能够让你开心，让你忧。

最近以为告一段落的咚咚，又回来了。这些事不适合在这里讲，讲了让有些人产生对某种东西有不好的印象。真的不是什么好东西就对了。

几天前，剪了自己觉得有一点sorry的头发。每次剪了头发都是酱的，看着镜子，就是不顺眼。不用紧，回去等给人笑咯。这几天都在发呆，每天都在等放假。呵呵，还有5天。这次真的要plan一下咯，妈妈难得重获自由，想跟妈妈去逛街和看戏，我今天问了她都说ok。现在只是要看什么戏和买到票没有罢了。

刚才去了听关于latihan industri的东西，很想在这个大放假beres掉它。现在是有点头绪要去那里做，不是在seremban就是在沟渠王aka parit raja。至少是在自己比较熟悉的地方。还好有的去LI不然真的要在家发霉鲁。。。。

最近这几年，我本身越来越没有新年的感觉。可能是人长大了，老了。新年只是会想着回家，然后玩，癫完后就回去受苦咯。真的有点没意思,但是这几年真的过的比较开心。没了亲戚，但多了朋友。。。‘补回数啦’。

ok la, hope tis few more days faz faz go away la, so i can bak home and the holiday slow slow pass, i don wan 2 go bak ther so faz.....haha

Am i wrong?

Lol, juz dono y? i turn down 1 of my coursemate when he ask me a question i hav 50 % on it i can answer. But instead i turn him down by giving some lame excuses that my lab report havnt finish yet.

Its weird man, is juz a natural instinct 2 give out that excuse. He is the guy that coz me 1 yr of misery........During my study here, i learned somthing, or rather said i found out that i cant treat everyone nice. University is juz so not like primary or secondary school......is totally 2 different world. Now, i usually will choose myself, who shld i hang out with, who is worth of helping he/her up, who 2 make fun and telling joke with. Once i heard a quote states that 'if u cant change them, blend with them'.......my point of view is 'if u cant change them, get away from them'. U wan 2 say me 记仇o wat so ever, i juz don wan 2 do it.

But strangely, after turning he down, i felt a sense of guilt inside me. I seldom felt guilt though. I will onli felt that way when i miss out somthing or som1. But the guy is definitely the 1 i wana miss out. So, i juz don get myself. Mayb God wan me 2 help him, hmm then God finds the wrong person perhaps.......go find som1 else, although God's teaching is ' love ur neighbour and ur enemy', but sry God 'mission failed' tis time.

Guess is still a long way 2 b 'holy' huh? actually i din plan it also. Recently i found out i been tagged by my coursemates that im a religous kind of guy.......i involve in the fellowship too much, actually when i thk bak, i been involving in it when i 1st step in 2 tis uni. My frens all wont call me out coz they noe i will b bz of my fellowship task or sunday going 2 church. So i basically miss out those gathering with all my coursemate bcoz of that. And 1 thing that really pissed me off is, a fren from my course is chatting wit me on9 on fb, we discussing abt when the rain will stop, he answer me 'pray harder then the rain will stop'. By the time, in my head onli a word 'bastard'. Is more like a teaser than a normal conversation sentence lo........FML

Anyway, im juz believing wat i believed. I don mind of giving tagged or boycott in certain level. So i thk i will juz live my wit 1 ear close and 1 eye close lo. Life would b much more better that way........finally, cant wait 4 cny, wan 2 c my mum, eat cny biscuits and ply cards......haha without the bananas of course!!!!haha!!!!!

friends......

The encounter of a human with another human is so magical, sometimes. From two unrelated person unfamiliar to friends that laughs together is nvr been an accident. in my point of view, is fate that brought us 2gether.......no doubt. Whenever we r together, we juz can make out somthing that we can laugh abt.......is not the normal laugh but the no image kind of laugh.

Recently, a fren juz wrote on fb that she really miss the Sabah trip when we r 2gether. For heaven sake, i really miss it too. The whole trip is juz like laughing non-stop, we luagh on the place we went, in the car and even we laugh at the hotel room. The 'time killing' activity we usually do during the trip is plying cards or 锄大弟. During the sabah trip, we ply cards and the bet is banana, surprisingly. The loser will receive a banana frm the winner. The whole process was head-off laughing experience. In the end i win many of those banana, which is huge(alert, those bananas r not ordinary size bananas). Guess wat, im very that nite.

Next, i recall that doreamon step on a rock like shit, in other words is a shit look like a rock. When we arrive at the cow farm, my 'fren' was so excited, she lead us the way into the farm 2 take some pictures. She told us 2 step on the rock would b safer coz the farm is full of shit.......i mean bullshit^^. Juz after wat she told us, she step on the 'thing' that looks like a rock. bulleyes!!! everyone is juz laughing like hell. Kena jackpot!!!!!! ok la ok la, i don wan mention more liao.......

Really cherish the friendship that we have and hope it will laz 4ever. even after they r married, coz by then i might could still b single and no1 2 yamcha wit is very 'kolian' d........haha

hope we will hav a trip again.......the laughter is the things i missed the most.......hope all my frens will hav new hope, new determination, new bf/gf, new will 2 stay strong in this new year.......peace out dude, now i can go FB again, hehe........

a moment juz 4 myself

Do u ever feel like u r down? without any specific reason? u feel uneasy all of a sudden, and get really pissed off without any reason and all u wana 2 do is juz lay down on ur bed or juz sitting at the corner of ur room day-dreaming (aka emo).........

Well, y i wana share tis coz, in my whole life, i thk i spend more time on doing that day-dreaming stuff compare 2 other things. some said that it is a bad practise coz, u will eventually bcom less social-like person. u tend 2 b alone a cant mix wit others. in my point of view, it could b a good thing also, coz during that time u can juz relax, thought of some memorable moments, the purpose of life, wat u nid 2 do next, thk of wat u done in the pass few years.........and more. So, its more like a power regain process that function like sleep but sleeping is physically and day-dreaming is mentality. but hey don get me wrong, im not those anti-social kind of guy, i like going out wit frens, doing some crazy stuff and it juz fun........although, in a certain period i does bcom a introvert somehow la, and that the things i wana 2 share next.

Ok next is the bad side of it, sometimes the day-dreaming could b like a labyrinth.......u will keep on trapped inside until u find ur way out. wat i mean is u will keep on and on thking abt a problem until u found a solution. and in the process of finding the solution, u may suffer frm depression and wont like to talk 2 any1, at least thats wat i experience. the process amy take days , months or even years to figure it out.......but sometimes it juz a snap and u got the answer.

So, overall ther is pros and cons la of course, nthg is perfect and that include me and u......bcoz we r juz humans. Life is juz abt finding the right way to suit the surrounding around and not the other way around.......if not u will b suffering, big time!!!!

Last and will b the least, happy chinese new years.......lol seems like too early leh, nvm i been looking 4ward 2 it since i arrive again in the king of 'longkang'..........wish everyone happy days ahead.........